Theory 93… Politicians and Parades

Why are politicians always in parades? Seriously… how did the two become connected… and whose idea was it? Does anyone really get excited about seeing a city councilman sitting on the back of a Chrysler Sebring waving to the crowd?

I love parades… I love camping out the night before… I love watching beautifully decorated floats…. and poking fun of the ugly ones… I love the marching bands… I love the motorcycle cops… even the stinky horses and obnoxious clowns can be fun to watch…. but the politicians… NOT INTERESTED… stay out of my holiday!

Now I don’t mind too much if you have the Governor and perhaps the Mayor ride the parade route…. but at least put them atop of a classic car… not some cheesy 6-cylinder Mustang with Ken Garff advertisements plastered all over.

Just for the record… if I were Governor or Mayor… I’d absolutely request a 1967 Corvette… or a classic Mercedes… or Rolls Royce… or something awesome to ride on top of. Oh yeah… and you can be darn sure I’d be throwing out KING SIZE candy bars to the little kids sitting on the side of the road. Who cares if it’s against parade regulations… what are they going to do… arrest the Governor!!!

As for those little league politicians…. get rid of them… or if you want… make them all ride together in a funny colored bus. Nobody cares about seeing the State Treasurer in the Pioneer Day parade. Make room for something more original… like a 60 foot tall Brigham Young balloon! Now that’d be awesome!