Theory 16… The Indestructible Plastic Clamshell Conspiracy Theory

Chalk this one up as my first conspiracy theory (certainly more will follow). I am absolutely convinced that the emergency room doctors and psychiatrists of the world have aligned themselves with the makers of those Indestructible Plastic Clam shells.

Seriously… if you’ve bought a jump drive lately… or maybe a set of headphones…. or for that matter any electronic device that retails for more than $9.99… you’ve had to wrestle with an IPC… and all too often it becomes a dangerous situation! My initial instinct is to try and crack into one of these packages with my bare hands….that never works…. so I usually whip out my car keys… when that doesn’t work I look for the next largest and sharpest tool… and I continue to upgrade the weaponry until I can make some headway… scissors… then a box cutter… then garden sheers… then hack saw. You practically need the jaws-of-life to perforate one of these clamshells… its insane. I wish I had a nickle for every time I’ve cut or gouged myself… Perhaps the worst of it is the damage to your psyche… I find it amazing how mad I can get at a little piece of titanium plastic… when I’m done I feel like I need to go see a shrink for my anger management problem. Fussy kids… more bills… bad drivers… no problem… stupid little IPC… ticks me off like nothing else!